Mar's Ribbon Cake

My family has a pretty inflexible Christmas routine. First, we wake up at my parents' house; we "do" Christmas there, opening presents, eating the kringle that my dad's college roommate gives us every year, taking embarrassing unkempt photos. Then we go to my dad's mother's. He is the oldest of six, and we are the oldest cousins by at least 8 years, so there are usually lots of little kids running around and being excited about Santa Claus. We eat breakfast there (again? really?) which usually consists of some sort of danish, coffee, orange juice and cake (it's Christmas, this is not a day to ask questions about food). Then we trek off to my other grandmother's house, where my brothers and I enjoy only-grandchildren status. We eat (I don't want to talk about it) lunch there, open presents, eat dessert and eventually waddle home. I never realized how much I actually liked this banal routine until it was almost taken away. My brother and his wife are in Spain this year (I don't want to talk about that either!), and we were going to go see them for Christmas. Awesome, trip to Spain, what's not to love? Yet I was unhappy, and I realized that that was because I didn't want to miss Christmas at home, especially with my grandmothers getting older. We have compromised; we're going the day after Christmas, which suits me much better...

Anyway, I digress...

I want to talk about one of the many food traditions that we have on Christmas - the mysterious presence of cake for breakfast. And before you even think coffee cake or banana cake let me assure you that there is nothing at all breakfasty about this cake. It's a cake; it's not a quick bread, it's not a muffin, it's cake. With icing. Chocolate icing. And layers - three of them. I have no idea why we serve it for breakfast, but I'm going to ask this year for sure! I do know, however, that it is my great-grandmother Mar's (pronounced Mah or /ma/ if you are IPA-inclined) recipe. [Quick aside, my great grandmother's name was Marvel; how cool is that?] This cake is a sight to behold for sure, after you cut into it anyway. Pre-cut it looks like a cake, but when you take out a slice you reveal 3 colorful layers - brown, red and green (really more like tan, pink and mint depending on how dye-happy you get) - hence "ribbon cake". Each layer has a different flavor (spice, almond and mint), but nothing is overpowering; it really just tastes like cake. I don't know why I like it that much; I guess it is because it's a tradition and, well, it's pretty. I'll snag some photos of it this year, but for now, here's the recipe:

Mar's Ribbon Cake

(I'm reproducing it exactly the way my great-grandmother had it except downsized. The original makes 3 cakes; I've cut it down to size for you guys, but you'll have to do some weighing or seriously skilled eye-balling.)

1 box of Pillsbury white cake mix

Make the batter according to the directions and then divide into 3 equal portions. Add the following ingredients to make each layer:

For the green:

1/3 t peppermint oil + green food coloring

For the red:

1/3 t almond extract + red food coloring

For the brown:

1/6 t cloves

1/6 t allspice

1/6 t cinnamon

2/3 T molasses

Now bake off each layer in an 8 or 9 inch cake pan according to the directions on the box. I think I would go 8 inch since you are dividing one cake mix into 3 pans.

Here is the chocolate icing recipe. Again, reproduced just like she had it:

3 c white sugar

1 c milk (I assume whole)

4 oz unsweet chocolate

1/4 c corn syrup

1 dash salt

5 T butter

1 t vanilla

1. Combine the first 5 ingredients in a sauce pan on the stove.
2. Bring to a boil and stir often until it reaches the soft ball stage (238 °F).
3. Remove from heat.
4. Add the butter and the vanilla.
5. DO NOT STIR.
6. Cool for one full hour.
7. Beat until creamy.

How curious is step number 5? Do not stir...really?

Assemble your (fully cooled) cake by stacking the layers with icing in between each layer and then ice the whole thing. I don't remember if there is any order you have to go in, and I don't think there is. I'll look into that this year as well!

I hope you've enjoyed this tiny glimpse, albeit photo-less (for now), into one of my family's strange food traditions. Please let me know if you try out the recipe!

Amazing Quote

My friend has this quote on his desk in a little frame. It is really quite wonderful:

It is truly strange how long it takes to get to know oneself. I am now sixty two years old, yet just one moment ago I realised that I absolutely love lightly toasted bread. Simultaneously, I also realised that I loathe bread when it is heavily toasted. For almost sixty years, and quite unconsciously, I have been experiencing inner joy or total despair at my relationship with grilled bread.

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Cambridge, 27 April 1951

My favorite soups (1 of 2)

It was cold today, finally, so to honor that I'm making soup.

I love thick soup. I love soup that you put in the fridge as a liquid and come back to find it in a solid state. My favorite way to achieve that is pureeing beans. I have two favorite bean-based soups: one is chickpea, the other is black bean.

Today I'm making the black bean one because celery was on sale this morning. I got the recipe from my favorite en masse recipe website recipezaar. It's a Panera Bread Co. copycat recipe. We don't have Paneras down here, so I can't say how close it is to the original, but it is really really delicious.

Here's the recipe as it appears on recipezaar.

Ingredients:

• 1 onion, finely chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 celery ribs, finely chopped
• 1/4 large red bell pepper, finely chopped
• 2 small chicken bouillon cubes
• 1-1 1/2 cup boiling water

• 2 (15 ounce) cans black beans, undrained
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin
• 1/2 lemon, juice of
• 1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch

Here's how I make it:

• 1-2 onion, coarsely chopped
• Tiny bit of vegetable oil (1-3 teaspoons)
• 2-5 garlic cloves, hacked at a little
• 2 celery ribs, like I ever have celery in my house, also hacked at
• 1 large red bell pepper, chopped into at least 12 pieces
• tomatoes, carrots, petit pois, anything else vegetable-like in the house
• 2 small chicken bouillon cubes, I prefer the veggie ones but my store quit carrying them
• 1-1 1/2 cup boiling water

• 2 (15 ounce) cans black beans, undrained
• salt
• cumin
• healthy dash of lemon out of the bottle, or the juice of half a lemon, if I don't forget it
• spoonful of cornstarch

• food processor or, better yet, emersion blender
• 
  

This recipe is really versatile. I usually don't have celery or red peppers on hand, but it doesn't matter. As long as you've got an onion, some garlic, cumin, salt, and beans you're off to a good start.

1. First thing's first. Get chopping. Cut up anything that looks like you can (onion, garlic, pepper, carrots, tomatoes, celery, etc), but don't worry about mincing or finely chopping anything.

2. About halfway through the chopping, heat up a splash of oil in a (preferably nonstick) pan. When you're done chopping, add the veggies to the heated oil and let them get some color.

3. Move things around in there every so often.

4. After the onions and garlic look goldenish add about 1.5 cups of water and the bouillon cubes and let it come to a boil. Turn the stove down and let this simmer for about 10 - 15 minutes, until the vegetables are soft.

5. Add 1.5 cans of beans, a good pinch of salt and a couple of heavy shakes of cumin. Stir all of this together and then get out the emersion blender.

6. Liquify your heart out.

7. Now it's time to add the cornstarch. But first, a word about cornstarch. Think back to grade school, do you remember making paste? Yes? Ah, that white powdery stuff was cornstarch. It turns into a non-Newtonian fluid (very exciting) when you mix it with water. And it forms nasty clumps when you mix it with hot water! Let me tell you, it is tremendously unpleasant to bite into a clump of glue. You should sift your cornstarch into a small dish and mix it with cold water. Make sure there aren't any big clumps, then pour it into the soup. Blend in with the emersion blender.

8. Add a splash of lemon juice (which I almost always forget and it's still great) and do a taste test. Need anything else? Salt maybe? Black pepper? I don't know, it's up to you. Let it cook for a few minutes longer so that it will thicken up from the cornstarch.

9. Go to town on that stuff. It's great!

It's particularly good with a slice of toasted bread and a drizzle of yogurt.

About linguistics

So, this blog claims to be linguisticky, but I never talk about linguistics. Well, folks, heres a tasty morsel.

I edited the last post like 5 times because my spelling is bad. My spelling wasn't always bad, and it has ironically gotten worse since I started studying linguistics. I don't care too much; orthography, especially English orthography, is kind of arbitrary anyway. Then again, it can make you look like an uneducated idiot if you can't spell.

Anyway, like I said, I blame linguistics.

• First, it has instilled in me the idea that orthography is arbitrary.
• Second, and more importantly, it has taught me about voicing. A lot of my spelling mistakes involve mis-voiced consonants. Consonants are either voiced or voiceless (all vowels are voiced) and a lot of them come in pairs. Try it - /f/ & /v/, /k/ & /g/, /p/ & /b/, /t/ & /d/, /s/ & /z/, /θ/ & /ð/ (as in "thanks" & "these"). The first one in each of those examples is voiceless, the second is voiced. Put you hand on your throat as you sound them, you will feel a vibration for the voiced ones and nothing for the voiceless.

I must sound out words as I type, and my fingers, attempting to hit the right key, occasionally pick the oppositely voiced consonant. A minute ago I wrote "stable" instead of "staple"...go figure.

I aboloshise now for any mizzbellinks.

Something successful!

In happier news (not failed reupholstery news), I have made a Christmas ornament for my mother. I found the tutorial over at Retro Mama. Super cute - and free! My mother has a masters degree in home economics with an emphasis in textiles and fibers...so she knows a thing or two about sewing, or at least she used to. Thus, our Christmas tree is lousy with handmade ornaments. In fact, at some point, my parents decided that the ornaments on our tree had to be handmade. No plasticky kitsch; it's wonderful. Anyway, when I saw this tutorial I realized that it was my time to contribute to the tree. So here's what I've made:

So cute

I'm really pleased with the results! I didn't do it exactly like retro mama did, but this suits me just fine. I did have to learn how to do a blanket stitch, iron on interfacing and use Fray Check; not that any of that's hard, I've just never done it before. Regardless, this was super easy to do. I think I'm going to make a flock! I also think I'm going to make my own pattern for a whole slew of animals and things...why not?

• Retro Mama
• Partridge ornament tutorial

Upholstery

I think I want to be an upholsterer. OK, maybe not really, but I am completely intrigued. This grad school thing is really cramping my creative muscles. I picked up a nice straight-back chair at an estate sale for $10. (They were asking $30, but I'm good...and it was the end of the day.)

It's the one on the left

It had OK fabric covering the box cushion (light blue, scalloped, stained), but I thought this would be a perfect time to test out my reupholstering mettle. It took me hours and hours (8+) of sewing. Well, that's not true, it took me hours of staring and measuring and staring and measuring and then finally a little sewing. There were lots of firsts. I cut my first bias strips to make my first piping/cording. I put in stripes/panels (they are straight and centered!). I sewed in piping/cording in for the first time. I've never done any kind of upholstery, and even though this is lightweight, I'm really proud of what I ended up with:

Looks pretty good...

...except it doesn't fit!!!

Arrrrrrrrrrrg.

I didn't see that I needed to ease the fabric on the side panels because the bottom of the cushion is wider than the top. Actually, it's not a full cushion; there's a piece of plywood on the bottom; the fabric goes over the wood so it doesn't show and then you just staple it to the bottom of the wood. Nice, except the wood is kind of big and, obviously, much less forgiving than foam. I haven't worked on it in about a week, too much work and too frustrating. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do either. I will try to sand down the corners on the front just a little bit. If that doesn't help, I will have to do some serious un-sewing. I'll have to take out most of the side fabric, ease it at the corners and re-sew it. Totally doable, totally time-consuming. When it's not way too tight, I have to then add piping to the bottom and staple. That won't be too hard. I can see the light at the end of this treacherous path, but with my workload as it is...it may be another 2 weeks before I can mess with it further.

Drawing with a sewing machine part the second

she was a really beautiful model

Well, I had so much fun last time, that I decided to have another go. This time I used some unbleached cotton fabric that I picked up in the remnant section - it's very pretty - and some brown thread. I figured it would be the exact opposite of the other one that I did. This one took much less time because of the color of the fabric...I could see the lines that I had drawn. I also did almost one continuous line for this go around (instead of about a billion on the last). I love it. I actually finished this one too - it has realized its destiny as a pillow!

LOVE

• Thanks again to clutterpunk for the tutorial!